Very Cold, Very Dry

This post is by Eric today! enjoy!

Tapas are everywhere. Greek tapas, Mexican tapas, Italian tapas – we are dangerously close to being tapped out on tapas. And what’s worse? Tapas in the United States are the furthest thing from authentic tapas in Spain. European cultures each do their “drink + snack” a little differently. In Italy, a spritz and a few cicchetti after work, and you’ve got aperitivo. In Lyon, France, the bouchon greets the exhausted silk worker (or “techfrère”) with local Beaujolais wine and old-fashioned charcuterie selections. In Madrid, the tapas joint is a gourmand’s delight. For every glass of wine or vermouth ordered, a little snack comes out – olives, oil-preserved fish, lightly batter-fried vegetables, and so forth. How perfectly civilized.

Madrid also has a vibrant street performance community. Dating back centuries, the troubadour culture in Spain is diverse enough to feature classical, flamenco, rock, pop, hip-hop, and more. Musicians crowd the streets into the wee hours of the morning, performing for the crowds.

On the playlist tonight: Alana Sinkëy is one such musician. She transcends easy definition, but her genius is undeniable, no matter what style she’s working in. “Vete de mí” is a classic song of lost love, winsome soul, life’s inevitable changes, and it’s the perfect soundtrack for a quiet martini or two and a plate of gildas (the classic Spanish tapas skewer with a green olive, anchovy filet, and pickled pepper).

Speaking of gildas and a great martini, if you’re in the Boston area and haven’t been to Taberna de Haro in the St. Mary’s neighborhood of Brookline, you really haven’t lived. Taberna is where those who know really go, like chefs and restaurateurs. It will occasionally show up on a “best of the best” list, but its true value lies in its neighborhood hospitality, unfussy menu, and note-perfect vibe. Proper Bostonians know that even on a chilly fall day, the outside patio in the sun is the best seat in town.

Taberna de Haro’s patio, Courtesy of Taberno de Haro

The Martini Icon: Niles Crane / David Hyde Pierce

Frasier (1993 – 2004 only. Very Cold, Very Dry does not recognize the ill-fated 2023-2025 reboot) is best known for sherry, that Andalusian fortified wine that ages forever and comes in every style from bone-dry to syrup-sweet. But the prudent viewer, who has seen the show in its entirety no fewer than 3 times such as this author, is well aware that the Crane boys know their way around a martini, especially Niles Crane (David Hyde Pierce). The perennially put-upon, pretentious psychiatrist is a fan of the Stoli Vodka Gibson, which must come with exactly three pearl onions (to quote Frasier to an exasperated waitress: “If you bring him two, if you bring him four, he will send it back!” – Episode 103, “Dinner at Eight”). In Episode 505 (“The 1,000th Show”) an excited Niles, having been quoted prominently in the American Journal of Psychiatry, has already called ahead to Seattle bistro Le Cigare Volant with instructions to “have [his] victory martini shaking precisely at eight o’clock!” 

David Hyde Pierce is himself no slouch when it comes to a proper cocktail. In a 2010 interview with Playbill, Pierce and the author sip martinis on the second floor of Sardi’s in New York City. Just like Niles, Pierce’s tipple of choice is Stoli. But he throws more caution to the wind than his on-screen persona, preferring four olives instead of the classic pearl onions of the Gibson. In any case, if you’re feeling pretentious (or put-upon) pour a Stoli Vodka martini, garnish it with onions or olives, and stream six or seven episodes of Frasier to celebrate the end of another week.

Niles Crane’s Victory Martini

• 4 oz., Stoli Vodka (why not make a big one? It’s a victory celebration after all!)
• ½ oz., Dolin Extra Dry Vermouth (since this is Niles Crane, the vermouth must be French)
• A dash of Fee Brothers’ Peach Bitters (because Daphne’s hair smells like peach blossoms)
• 3 pearl onions or 4 olives, to garnish

Combine the vodka, vermouth, and bitters in a Boston cocktail shaker. Add ice and shake vigorously (at precisely eight o’clock!). Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and garnish according to your preference.

***

NILES: “Well, if it’s ‘raucous’ you’re looking for, we could go and get a night cap at the piano bar at the Mayflower Hotel. It’s Jerome Kern night. Last time, people were shouting out requests without raising their hands!”

• Frasier, Episode 613, “The Show Where Woody Shows Up”