There are a lot of things that are difficult as an adult, but the one of the most difficult, in my opinion, is making friends. When you’re in college, you’re in a controlled environment with several thousand other 17–18-year-olds who are anxious to meet like-minded people who can help discover their identity. To assist, there are sports leagues, art clubs, dorm activities, religious groups, the list goes on and on. Or you do what I did, and what about 10% of college students in the US have done- and join a sorority of fraternity. It was the perfect situation where I met my lifelong college friends. We bonded over living together, sharing chores, Jell-O shots before the clubs, boy drama, gossip, and weekly Grey’s Anatomy watch parties (we were 21 when that show FIRST AIRED. I am officially old).
But when you’re an adult, you don’t have those types of experiences anymore. They are in your photo albums on Facebook that you posted every week from 2004-2007.
It is so much harder to find that community when you are a full-time, working adult. We are consumed with family, maybe children, bills, chores, going to the grocery store, or trying to find that hour or two where you can just sit on the couch and watch crappy television (Also, please tell me your favorite crappy shows, I am here for it).
Two of the most well-known organizations that can help you form friendships as an adult are Meetup and Volo. If you are not familiar, Meetup is a huge online social media networking platform for hosting in-person and online events and gatherings for people with like-minded interests and hobbies. They are all over the US, and you can find groups in your surrounding area. Fortunately, after a couple of years of bad experiences, I did form a wonderful friendship group with women who will be lifelong friends.
However, when we moved to Boston, I had to basically start all over again. After four years of feeling defeated, as I hadn’t really formed any real friendships.
So, I did what all advice columnists say to do to meet people in your adulthood: Join an organization. I decided on VOLO, which is basically the same thing as Meetup, but sports focused. You can join almost any type of sports league – Volleyball, Bowling, Bocce, Soccer, Kickball, Football, the list goes on.
I am not very athletic, so I decided to join Cornhole, which takes no actual physical abilities, just a bit of skilled throwing. I joined as a free-agent, meaning VOLO would put me on a team that needed players. I met some nice people, but I wasn’t finding that community I’d been craving.
Then, in January 2025, my teammate and I who had been on the same team since the beginning were without two other members who decided to join other teams or move on from the league. On one of the last games of that season, we noticed two chatty women laughing right next to us, telling jokes in between games. As soon as we saw them, we looked at each other, as if to think the same thought, approached them, and asked if they wanted to be on our team next season. We thought they would say no, as we were complete strangers at the time, but they enthusiastically said yes.
Fast forward a year later, and we have formed a strong friendship group, bringing in one of my teammate’s friends who has also become our friend, too.
Our ritual after cornhole (or really any day that ends in a “Y” if we are free) is to go to one our favorite local sports bars. They have a huge menu, lots of cocktails, and TV’s at every corner. But one thing that I have gotten my friends hooked on is their “Dirty Blue Vodka Martini” It has Tito’s, olive brine, and bleu cheese stuffed olives. I never thought a sports bar would have a good martini, but they have proved me wrong.
I started ordering it, and my freinds were curious to try one as they were not as familiar with martinis.
Now it is our post-ritual drink to celebrate a game well played, when we need to vent about our lives, relieve some stress, or just be there to support one another. I call it our “Friendship Martini”.
A Martini That’s On My Mind:
I think every friend group should have a version of the “Friendship Martini”. A cocktail that you all drink when you’re together; that makes you feel better after the first sip, so you can get down to business and gossip, vent or just talk about LIFE. What is your “Friendship Martini”?
If you want to try a version at home, here is my ultimate recipe.
My Favorite Gin of the Week:
Froggy B Vodka
It’s clean, goes with both a lemon, olives AND bleu cheese olives, and a great price. Find it at your local liquore store, or if it’s in stock at your local Total Wine here
Music I’m listening to:
Freak Out City, Brent McKenzie
Bret McKenzie was part of the popular show, Flight of the Conchords, which I heard about, but never watched. When NPR Music recommended this album, I played one song, and I was hooked. It’s chill, sweet, strumming guitar vibes make this perfect for those warm summer evenings. I love “All I Need” and “All the Time”.
As always, let me know your summer music recommendations!
My martini icon this week is…
Deborah Vance, Hacks.
I just watched an episode where she was annoyed that her neighbors built a tree house that blocked her view of the city. So, she decided to take matters into her own hands by taking a chain saw and cutting down the tree house herself. In white pants. Then she pours herself a martini as if it says a job well done. This is proof that martinis are there for us to celebrate EVERY occasion.
Other musings:
- Have you followed us on Instagram, @verycoldverydry?! If you are a follower, thank you for your support! If not, go follow right now! Put down that martini and press that “follow” button! You’ll get even more fun martini content!
- Take advantage of every opportunity to be outside, especially if you are in New England. Porch season is SHORT, so get your martini and GET OUTSIDE!
- These napkins are amazing for your martini nights! I have another version, but these are adorable.
Well, that’s all for this week. Send me a message, a comment below, questions…I’d love to hear from you! Please stay cool!
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